Three Kinds of Light in Response to Loss

Kirva
12 hours ago
4 min read

By Rabbi David Jaffe

This Chanukah got off to a painful start. Not only were Jews around the world and our beloveds in Australia reeling from the deadly terrorist attack, but on a more personal level for us at Kirva, we suddenly lost a dear friend the week before. This month’s blog is dedicated to the memory of Seth Pollack, a wonderful, adored mensch of a man who was killed in a bicycle accident near his home on December 5th. A recently retired professor and national leader in Community Service Learning, Seth participated in many of Kirva’s programs and took leadership in our new pro-democracy Fight Like a Mensch curriculum as an advisor, facilitator, and financial steward. Our hearts go out to his family and his large community in Monterrey, CA.

I don’t have anything clever or philosophically wise to say about these losses and how quickly life can change from celebration to sorrow. I am devastated. I do find myself turning, as always, to Rebbe Nachman and to practice as a way through, and this is what I offer us for Shabbat Chanukah and Rosh Chodesh Tevet.

Rav Nosson of Breslov (R. Nachman’s primary student) has a beautiful teaching about Chanukah that I find offers comfort and a way forward in this moment. The Talmud (Shabbat 21b) describes three ways the Chanukah menorah can be lit:

One candle each night for the entire household (only one light in total is lit each night)
Each person in the household lights one light each night (one light is lit for each person in the household each night)
Each person in the household lights one light the first night, two lights the second night, three the third night, and so on until eight candles are lit on the eighth night by everyone in the household (which is the approach done in many homes).

Based on a teaching from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (Lekutei Moharan 1:34), he explains that the one candle for the entire home represents the light of the true Tzaddik/holy, righteous leader and teacher that we learn from and grow in hearing/reading their teachings; one candle for each person represents the unique righteousness and holiness that each of us have that others don’t have and that we can offer to each other; and the third approach represents each person’s inner righteousness and holiness that grows with cultivation of our unique gifts and through applying what we learn from the Tzaddik and from our friends to our own lives.

Here is how I am applying this teaching to the difficult events of the past weeks:

The massacre at Bondi Beach targeted a Chabad Chanukah party. Chabad is a Chassidic lineage dating back over 200 years to the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman, and most recently led by the last Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson. These events are infused with their teachings about joy, loving other Jews, acting with kindness towards all people, and doing one more mitzvah, be it lighting Shabbat candles, Chanukah candles, or putting up a mezuzah. We can put into practice the Rebbe’s teaching to respond to tragedy and loss by bringing more light into the world through acts of kindness and doing mitzvot. What teachings are most alive for you in this season that you want to integrate into your daily life?

The second is learning from our friends. Seth was a new friend, and I already considered him a “soul-brother,” given how deeply we connected around Kirva’s work, bringing deep Jewish spirituality into relationship with the work of social change. Seth wanted to make Jewish learning and spirituality more front and center in his life after leaving the university. He had both a directness and a kindness that made his observations and questions productively challenging.

The sichot chaverim/spiritual conversations we had over the past few years always left me nourished and wanting to do the right thing. I am brokenhearted about losing Seth, and his light motivates me on our shared path. Who is a friend who has qualities that inspire you? Consider engaging in a spiritual conversation with them.

Finally, we get to take the teachings we learn from the sages and from our friends and build on them in our own lives. Rebbe Nachman’s advice is to do this during Hitbodedut/unscripted prayer. In my hitbodedut, I ask Hashem for help in honoring Seth’s memory, holding the devastation of his loss and of the massacre in Sydney, and finding ways to bring more light. What is it you want to build on and make come alive in your life that you learned from friends and teachers? Bring this into a session of unscripted prayer.

May the light of our teachers, our friends, and that which is inside ourselves grow brighter and brighter each night as we light the candles of the six, seventh and eight nights of the holiday, creating the internal and external warmth so needed in our world right now.

Chanukah Sameach, Chodesh Tov and Shabbat Shalom,

David